Ingredients: Cup-O-Noodles, peanut butter, hot sauce.
Directions: Follow the heating directions on the container, adding a bit less water than called for. Place about a tablespoon of peanut butter of your choice on top and close the lid to soften before the main stirring. After a couple of minutes, uncover the cup and add a generous amount of your favorite hot sauce (or whatever is available). Mix and taste for balance. The vinegar in the hot sauce should balance the sweetness of the peanut butter, which calms the heat while melting into the salty warmth of the noodles. The delicious climax of smooth aromatic bliss is a healthy hit of white trash survival cuisine, now open to all races.
Benefits: A bit on the salty side, this dish was originally meant as a road-trip staple to get you through a food desert. Now it is recommended for citizens and noncitizens as well as any non-white travelers in the U.S., especially after January 2017. Not prefered for every meal, but will do in a pinch. English does not have to be spoken to consume it. Lightweight and transportable for unscheduled transitions. High carbohydrate for quick energy and absolutely legal for deportation to other countries. Most grocery stores, convenience markets and gas stations carry a version of Cup-o-Noodle. Can be made ahead of time, though you might not be able to keep it in detention. Extra broth is not recommended for waterboarding. Good luck.