Thanksgiving: What a precious day. How did you spend it? Many of us are fortunate to be given the day off work, and many of us spend it with family, basking in the glow of all we are grateful for. Our presence and time with each other—the most precious gift we can give.
The day after Thanksgiving presents an opportunity to consider what to give loved ones for Christmas. As we look to a future in which life on a habitable planet requires regenerative ways of living, I am reflecting on gift giving in the most life-sustaining, regenerative way. Black Friday frenzy, unconscious consumerism, single-use gag gifts, plastic trinket stocking stuffers—the Earth groans under the weight of this engagement. Gift giving can be so much more meaningful, and it can be a part of a regenerative, community-nourishing way of life.
As an Earth-loving human, I often reflect on how to shift my behaviors in a regenerative direction. As a physician, I am also intrigued by the neurophysiology behind our behaviors, habits, impulses and addictions, as well as the evolution of our consciousness. For example, it is now widely accepted that smoking cigarettes habitually harms one’s health. We can now look with shocked bemusement at those early cigarette ads; some of my favorites include, “Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere” and “The smooth taste expectant mothers crave.” I suspect in the not-too-distant future, people will regard our wasteful consumer culture— even our description of humans as consumers—through a similar lens of shocked awareness. How do we respond once we’ve realized that our consumer behaviors are causing harm to the planet?
This is where I find neurophysiology intriguing. Humans have evolved with a “reward center” in our brain: Dopamine surges when we experience something pleasurable, which reinforces behaviors that have served to keep us alive through challenging circumstances. Our collective ancestors survived by being emotionally connected to their caregivers, by being interested in sex, by finding food that had sweetness in it, and by continuing to search or forage for something despite only intermittent successes.
Many nourishing behaviors light up our reward center in a healthy way, including moving our bodies, experiencing new things, sitting in the sunshine, receiving touch, being in nature and connecting with others. Sometimes we seek a dopamine rush when we are emotionally upset, tired or desire some change in our internal state. Some things, however, overstimulate that center. Tobacco, cocaine, methamphetamine, opioids and, for some, gambling and shopping can create a rush of dopamine pleasure. Some people are so sensitive to this effect that they want to experience it again and again, even when it ruins their health or their relationships—and, ultimately, the health of the planet.
In addition to the dopamine reward, humans are subject to additional evolutionary forces that support interpersonal connection. We are driven toward behaviors that reinforce our social nature, such as giving gifts, reciprocating and being altruistic. Giving gifts serves a valuable societal function by weaving us closer together. Helping each other and giving of ourselves and our skills increases our personal and community resilience. It can be easy to forget how essential community resilience is, shielded as most of us are from immediate existential perils such as starvation or homelessness. Yet it is not difficult to imagine a time in which our survival will again require us to know and love our neighbors. Many members of our human family live on that edge right now.
People in marketing know a lot about social psychology and neurobiology. Advertisements grab our attention, arouse us and make us feel warm and connected to evocative emotional states. But what if we could see those ads and messages for what they really are? Can we recognize that we are being manipulated and sidestep the impulsive, unconscious response they are designed to elicit? What if we could understand the importance of gift giving as a way to cultivate connection and resilience? Can we take hold of the power of making a conscious choice about when and how we give? Can we buy things made by local artisans, give gifts of our time or experiences together, or give things that we already have?
I am inspired by the move that many countries are making toward a circular economy. This is a model of production and consumption that involves sharing, leasing, reusing, repairing, refurbishing and recycling existing materials and products as long as possible. A circular economy stands as a regenerative alternative to our linear economy paradigm with its waste, disposability, planned obsolescence and pollution. In some places, it is increasingly possible to purchase items that have been designed to have long lives and be repairable, and to engage in recycling, upcycling and a thriving gift economy.
This year, as in years past, I refrained from buying anything on the day after Thanksgiving. I tended the garden, lounged in the sun, spent time with loved ones and sent appreciation to some beloved beings in my life. I was awash in dopamine, among other lovely neurotransmitters, all day long. I also did a little research into the “buy nothing project,” which is dedicated to supporting and furthering gift economies around the world. I downloaded their app and am delighted at the prospect of others finding me there: in a virtual space for locals to connect around freely giving what we have to give to those who have a need. It is wonderful to celebrate the abundance we have in our communities.
A few weeks ago I attended a gathering of women friends for a clothing exchange. We brought the clothes we no longer wear, laid them out beautifully, and over the course of luxurious hours shared food, drink, story and connection while trying on new things. We celebrated how beautiful our clothes looked on our friends, and how nice it was to have new clothing without spending money. At the end of the afternoon, the unwanted clothing was gathered up and brought to a local thrift store. It was an experience of deliciously pleasurable abundance. My reward center was lit up.
Tomorrow I will visit artist friends’ open studios and perhaps find gifts for loved ones. This season I will happily look for little gifts at crafts fairs and in our local stores that carry local craftspeople. My daughter Lila will be receiving a beautiful, restored, functioning typewriter made in 1937, when longevity and craftsmanship were prioritized. I found someone on Etsy who has dedicated himself to giving these machines new life, and he guarantees them with a lifetime trade-in warrantee. I am glad to support him.
In my household, we share an appreciation of not having too much stuff cluttering spaces and an openness to giving and receiving experiences instead of objects. In this form of giving, we are liberated from anxiety about supply chain disruptions and we are nourishing our local economy and community. We move from being consumers, a term that has its roots in the Latin word meaning to use up, eat, to waste, to being community weavers and regenerative gift givers who give the gift of our presence and time. We are all richly rewarded by giving in this way.
Anna O’Malley, M.D. is a family and community physician with the Coastal Health Alliance and founder of the Natura Institute for Ecology and Medicine in the Commonweal Garden in Bolinas.