The shadowy rebel organization that tore down Bolinas
road signs, misdirected tourists and confused the media for more than
three decades took a politically correct step last month. The Bolinas
Border Patrol members, whoever they are, will henceforth refer to themselves
as "Bolinas Community," so as to stop potentially offending
Latinos.
The transition was announced in the Jan. 20 issue
of the Bolinas Hearsay News by Bolinas mutineer and t-shirt designer,
StuArt, who left ten phone messages unreturned and refused an interview
on the top-secret matter. In his Hearsay story, StuArt credited a "no-bullshit"
woman called Hawk with highlighting the unfortunate association between
the Bolinas Border Patrol and the "brutal" United States Border
Patrol.
"Border Patrol is way too ‘fascist police
state’ for me," StuArt wrote, agreeing with Hawk that the
name had to change. "I thought about the Minutemen in Arizona,
armed to the teeth, patrolling the U.S. border in SUVs."
So while the logo remains a bespectacled quail (changed
from a black widow spider in 1985), the name on all t-shirts, flyers
and bumper stickers will be changed to the less controversial and arguably
less virile title, "Bolinas Community."
In the heyday of the Bolinas Border Patrol, members
sawed, plowed and otherwise vandalized some 30 signs indicating the
road to Bolinas. It was all part of a backfiring effort to keep the
coastal hamlet out of public attention, tourist brochures and yuppie
developer hands.
In recent months, the organization has claimed on
its website, http://www.bolinas2miles.com,
that operatives "went #2" on the hood of an employer’s
expensive vehicles and thwarted Prince Charles and Camilla by "finding
out their plan and disabling the GPS device in the front of their limo."